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'Kwai' is a combination of leaf of the betel vine, a piece of areca nut (betel nut), a smear of lime paste; and for those used to tobacco a pinch of tobacco leaf. Kwai giving is a very symbolic way of showing welcome to a guest or friend. The first thing one can expect in any traditional Khasi home is the offering of kwai. The way it is offered is something very personal with the host coming and giving it in the hand as against similar offerings of 'pan' in a plate, or a special receptacle in the places surrounding the Khasi Hills or in other parts of India. This custom has a very touching and interesting legend to it. Long ago there lived two friends in the Khasi Hills, of whom one was rich and the other miserably poor. The rich friend used to invite his friend often to his place and their friendship grew strong. But the poor friend aware of his dire poverty was never able to repay his kindness or express his appreciation of their friendship by inviting his friend to his house. The rich friend unaware of his friend's predicament, and wondering that his friend never ever invited him to his house, one day invited himself to his poor friend's place. The poor friend embarrassed of his inability that he could not even reciprocate his friend's love, rushed to his dear wife and entreated her to manage something from their neighbours so that they may not fall short in any way in showing their love and affection to his bosom friend. He then returned to his friend to give him company. The wife ran around to borrow some eatables, or some rice, vegetables / meat / dry fish to cook some food at home, but was heart broken that there was no one to trust this penniless couple with a few rupees worth of things, which their neighbours perhaps, feared that they may never be able to return. She became distraught that she could not manage anything to give to her beloved husband's friend and their guest in their humble abode. Shame over came her and drove her to take her life. The husband waited for a call from his wife once she managed to arrange food for his dear friend and guest, but there was no sign of her. After a considerable lapse of time he excused himself from his friend to find out the outcome. He was aghast to see the lifeless body of his beloved wife along side the empty fireplace in their kitchen where their cat was sleeping curled up, surrounded by equally empty shining utensils (Khasi women take pride in shining their cooking utensils especially the rice pot.). The import of his wife's embarrassment and desperation dawned on him. The terrible loss of his beloved wife and his inability to provide for the family and his guest because of his utter poverty caused him acute heartburning and embarrassment that made him in no way less desperate. The desperation and acute sense of loss drove him to take the same extreme step that his wife had taken. The rich friend, who waited patiently for his friend to return from inside of the house, reluctantly ventured to the kitchen to seek the reason for the long disappearance of his friend and his wife and was unable to believe his eyes at seeing both his friend and his wife lying dead alongside in their almost otherwise empty kitchen. The rich friend could immediately grasp that his innocent and unwitting appearance in the house of his poor friend had caused the death of his close friend and his wife. The remorse led him to think no different from his friend's wife and his friend, and he added to the tally by taking his own life. Meanwhile, a thief who was caught in his act was running away from those who were chasing him. When he was running past the house of the poor man he found the door of the house wide open and decided to give a slip to his chasers by hiding in the house. After he was sure that his chasers had gone past, the thief who felt pangs of hunger went to the kitchen to help himself to some food. Alas, he found three dead bodies and froze to the ground in shock and fear. Before he could recover, his chasers who had gone past returned and entered the house to find him in the company of three dead bodies. The thief who was running away from being punished for a petty theft started pleading ignorance of the major crime of multiple murders to his captors. After due investigation, the elders realized that acute poverty had been the unfortunate cause of the loss of the three lives. They called all the people of the land from villages far and wide on mountains tops and valleys, and it was decided that it would suffice to give 'kwai' to a guest as a show of hospitality and nothing more was required for the expression of hospitality to a guest visiting a house, because even the poorest can afford to give 'kwai', with the betel leaves and betel nut growing abundantly in Khasi Hills. It was decided that to honour the three who had lost their lives, the betel leaf should be symbolic of the wife, the betel nut the husband, the lime the friend who adds the punch to life and kwai. Tobacco, which is usually hidden inside the mouth in between the gums and the cheek, shall remind one, of the thief who hid in the house of the poor couple. Perhaps, there is no other place in India or any other place in the world where 'kwai' is given so religiously as is given to any one visiting any Khasi house. Even if you are one who is put off by the blood like stains of the expectorations of the Khasi people in many public places, as a tourist please don't miss a chance to taste 'Kwai'. But be warned, a very generous smear of lime is put on the betel leaf unlike in 'pan' that is consumed in many places of India, and make sure you remove a major portion of the lime, to just leave a meagre smear before you put the 'kwai' in your mouth. Betel nut is taken raw and wet and not the dried ones. Some of the betel nuts can be very strong that they might cause you to sweat profusely and you may feel a little consternation of the chest. The best antidote for such perspiration and choking is to take some sugar and drink more water. For the Khasi people eating kwai is one of the ultimate ecstasies; that to be in heaven is referred as 'bam kwai ha iing U Blei - meaning to eat kwai in the house of God. If someone has forgotten to offer you kwai, please feel free to ask - 'Ai kwai seh.' - meaning, please give me kwai. . |
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